Xerratus
Happily stressed out, since 1974


 
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
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Oh, the visual I had when I saw the title to this article, Nut-cracking gorilla surprises scientists

I pictured two scientists walking down a corridor when out jumps a gorilla, a "nut-cracking gorilla", who, just as swiftly as he appeared, kicks one of the scientist square in the balls.  Just as quickly as the gorilla attacked, he's gone, leaving the scientists curled up on the floor in the fetal position feeling shocked, violated and most importantly, surprised. 

Hell, what's more surprising then getting kicked in the jewels by a fucking gorilla?  Honestly, what?

UPDATE: I can't believe I did that.  I posted this entry off of the title of the article alone, I didn't actually read it.  Oh am I glad that I went back.  Apparently the surprising thing about the gorilla isn't that he's cracking nuts, it’s that he's using 2 rocks to do it the job.  NOW THAT IS FUCKING SURPRISING!  Instead of kicking the scientist in my mock dramatization above, he jumps out and with 2 rocks in hand, smashes the scientists little boys with them -ouch!

Dude, this gorilla needs to be working with the Marines.  I think we may have found something that would actually terrify terrorists.